My name is Claire Alexandra.
I am nineteen years old.
Lover of all things bright and beautiful.
Anthropologist in training.

 

supsquark:

if you have a great dane but it is a runt then it is a mediocre dane and you are contractually obliged to name it hamlet

piertotum-locomottor:

little-red-riding-cock:

brispeak:

Post-It Notes from a Stay-At-Home Dad.

These were all very entertaining :P

I love how he calls his wife “permanent roommate”

at least my coworker is hot

(Source: lohanofficial)

Women: I'm pregnant what should I do?

Pro life: keep the baby!

Women: okay! Can I have prenatal vitamins?

Pro life: what?

Women: can I have financial help for doctor appointments?

Pro life: ummm.....

Women: can I at least get paid maternity leave?

Pro life: ummm... Excuse me?

Women: the baby is here can I get financial help?

Pro life: I'm sorry do we know you?

hesitence:

it really sucks when u grow apart from ur friends it’s undoubtably the worst

javeliner:

think about the concept of a library. that’s one thing that humanity didn’t fuck up. we did a good thing when we made libraries

aqua-twin:

"Maybe you’re not [heterosexual/homosexual/some kind of allosexual], maybe you’re just [insert love interests name]-sexual"

NO, NO THERE IS AN ACTUAL LEGITIMATE NAME FOR THAT

THERE IS A NAME FOR ONLY BE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO THOSE YOU HAVE A DEEP EMOTIONAL BOND WITH 

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listoflifehacks:

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Microwave Snacks You Can Make In A Mug Part 1 Here

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

i love the term “bear with me” because it could mean either 1 of 2 things:

  • asking someone to be patient
  • confirmation that the zoo heist was a success